Less Serious Than Advertised

There is a tiny cat giving me a glare of death.

2010-04-18T20:35:00.002-05:00

Sweet Pea, aka Tiny Cat, is giving me a death glare for some reason. I don't think she likes the synthpop I've got playing. Or she's just being a cat. It's hard to tell which sometimes.

I haven't written as much as I'd like in a few weeks. Honestly, I've got a semi-voluntary writer's block right now. In the last three weeks, I've moved back home, found out I've got an essentially untreatable bone spur in my right elbow (yes, the dominant one), and experienced pain unlike anything I've ever felt thanks to a medication change that will be reversed as soon as I talk to my pain specialist. Plus, next weekend is Conestoga. I'm going to be digging my nails in the whole time just to get through it. Fortunately, I get to stay at the hotel (woo!), which will make it easier to grab a little rest now and then.

I've actually realized that, without the wasband, I've lost a major reason for my writing: a need to escape what was essentially a prison. I was well on my way to losing my mind, thanks to him, and writing kept me sane. Now that I am sane, I need to dig into myself and get my motivation back. I've got another prison, for all the good or bad it'll do me, and now it's time to write to escape myself. Getting my pain medications balanced out will help. It's hard to write when you're so dosed you slur your words, and equally hard when the act of moving your fingers to type sends shooting pains all the way to your back. I just need to find my happy medium with regards to pain, exhaustion, medication, and stories.

For now, I'm going to go dye my hair. Pain really makes you feel like shit about yourself, and I need to see something other than dark circles under my eyes when I look in my mirror. At least my hair is short again. Wasband bullied me into growing it long. Now that I have my way? I have no more than three months' worth of growth in any direction. Huzzah!

And now, as Blofeld said, "No, Ms. Ward, I expect you to dye!"

Blog Day

2010-02-22T18:23:00.002-06:00

Apparently, this is Create and/or Update Blogs Day. I've started yet another one, called Dirt Poor Vegan (which I am), and I've finally re-acknowledged Seward's Folly. So what's up on the writing front?

I've mostly been sleeping lately. The weather's got me in a bad place, as do my allergies. However, I'm still slowly picking away at the short novel-to-novelette, and I'm working on an old rewrite that requires some actual writing. It's a habit I have to get back into, and there will be days (gasp!) when I can't write. I know that sounds like a build-up for a lousy excuse, but my lousy excuses are on the level of, "My chemo dosage was increased and today sucks balls," and, "My medication side-effects are throwing me for a loop today, and I really just need to sleep." Yes, there are in fact some excuses that will stick.

I've also been submitting like crazy. I've got a story in the Tulsa Library contest, too, and I really hope it places. It's a story I've been fine-tuning for a while now, and I think it's my best work. It's the only story I've ever written that genuinely makes me want to cry. Hopefully it'll see publication at some point.

Well, it's chemo day, and I've been WAY too active today, so I'm going to take a nap. This has been my most recent update. Hopefully, they'll soon get more frequent and more positive.

Actual Writing Content!

2010-01-25T15:17:00.003-06:00

Currently, I'm in a battle with myself. This is nothing new--it's been going on for 33 years this Wednesday--but the situation has taken a somewhat grave turn. My elbows are so arthritic they're damaging my nerves. It's being treated more slowly than I'd like, but it's being treated. Even now I'm waiting for a call from my pain specialist's office regarding the next step.

The upside of this, of course, is that I'm writing (or at least rewriting) like a mofo.

Because I can't really type for more than maybe up to an hour at a time right now, I'm looking through my backlog of short stories, fixing or finishing them, and sending them out for consideration. It's nice to get back into that; I'd stopped for a long time due to time limitations and health issues. I've gone through most of the shorter ones and sent them out to potential homes (hoping like hell here), gotten two rejections so far, hoping for a sale before too hideously much longer, and decided to cut a 48,000-word short novel down to a 25,000-word novella so I might submit it to more places. Because I'm crazy that way. I don't want to lengthen it into a real novel right now, so I'll hack it into pieces. Yay, the joys of being me.

My hands are hurting, so I'm going to give them some downtime. I think the length and breadth of this is a public announcement that, yes, I'm still writing. It's not as long or much as I'd like, but I'm doing it all the same. Hopefully, medical science will make it possible for me to start spending four hours at a keyboard again within the year. As things stand, I'll take being able to eat without dropping it all over myself. (There are reasons I don't wear white shirts.)

Helpful Holiday Hints

2009-12-16T02:44:00.004-06:00

So today, whilst waiting for my car to be lubed, oiled, and filtered (and shoed--the last original tire was shot), I was subjected to daytime TV. A strange show called Dr. Oz was running a segment on How Not To Poison Your Holiday Guests. His hints were helpful: don't feed guests raw eggs, avoid cross-contamination, etc. However, I feel he left out some salient points.

1. Lead crystal should be clear, not opaque, gray, and easily melted if left by the stove. (If you're serving chilled heavy water alongside the wine, feel free to ignore this advice.)
2. Broccoli and rice casserole is good. Broccoli and ricin casserole is good if you're Jim Jones.
3. Green dye or not, arsenic is not a good all-natural candy additive.
4. Just because it smells like almonds doesn't make it marzipan.
5. Though grenades are colloquially referred to as "potatoes" in some regions, turning them into latkes is not recommended.
6. Though they both belong to the Fungi kingdom, Aspergillus is not a suitable substitute for yeast. Similarly, death cap mushrooms may be attractive, but their culinary uses are limited.
7. Italian Cooking with Cesare Borgia should probably remain on the shelf.
8. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to share a meal made with the Yersinia pestis Yogurt Kit.
9. Wash out the lye before you serve the lutefisk.
10. Despite the charming and artistic effect, silver candy balls should rarely, if ever, be replaced with mercury.

Follow these simple rules, and your guests will be joyful and breathing. Happy Holidays, folks!

Quick thought on American society

2009-11-08T21:59:00.002-06:00

This will be brief, as I just took my chemo and expect to be woozy and useless in a few minutes.

Something I've noticed about American society--and something I don't necessarily agree with--is that, as a culture, we value potential more than anything else. The starkest point I've noticed is that, when a child dies, it's treated as the ultimate tragedy; on the other hand, if someone elderly dies, it passes with resolution and sometimes a sense of relief. (I understand relief if the person suffered from some prolonged illness, like Alzheimer's or severe arthritis. That's not what this comment is about. That same relief can be applied to a younger person.) What is the greatest commodity lost if a child dies? The potential to be something great. However, when someone in their 80s or such dies, with them goes a bounty of knowledge and experience.

I've thought about this off and on for a long time, but recently, I had the privilege to talk to a woman just short of her 97th birthday, who has been sewing since she was a small girl. She's been sewing, a learned and valuable skill, for nearly a century. How often do you meet someone who's been doing something, anything (apart from, say, breathing), for very close to a hundred years? There is so much to learn from her, and so much fulfillment. Potential just doesn't come close.

Feel free to disagree with me. This is just how I see the world. YMMV.

I feel chemo brain setting in. Time to let my IQ drop by half in private.

Frustration is a frustrating mistress.

2009-09-29T18:36:00.004-05:00

I'm frustrated right now. It's taking WAY too long to get a copyedited ms back from Yon Agent, and I'm starting to fear that it'll never get published. It's a tough sell to start with, but it's got to be ready to go. I'm supposed to be working on other books, but, I dunno. I have no time, my energy is all wrapped up in other projects (nearly finished, thank Elvis), and I'm generally just ready to rip my hair out and scream.

Compounding this is a medically necessary decision to get healthier. I've started seeing a pain specialist, and she told me to start exercising regularly or else. My weight isn't good for my joints OR muscles, both of which are damaged by SLE and/or FMS, and I need to simply move more. Hence, I've joined a gym near my day job. It's a nice place with a varied clientèle, one of my best friends is a member, and a few of my coworkers joined, so I've got people to work out with. I feel better for it and (an increase in my Lyrica dosage), but, well, my diet has to change, too. Aye, there's the rub.

I was vegan for seven years. Apart from a general lack of EFA's, it was the best eating plan for my body, and it worked wonders on my health AND my weight. (For me, a US size 10 is scrawny. I have a frame like a linebacker and the muscles to match. If I were an athlete, I'd totally be a power lifter.) Wasband (the ex) pressured me to relax to lacto-ovo/pescetarianism. The added fish was a good thing, and the eggs were neutral. The milk, though.... Cow's milk does a number on me. We don't know why, but it makes me hurt liek woah and feel like I'm thinking through wet cotton. Hence, I'm moving to primary veganism, which means that I'll occasionally hit the sushi bar or order an omelet when I'm out.

I'm on day three. My body is fiercely unhappy. Veganism is often a low-fat diet, and my body demands fat. Not saturated, but mono- and polyunsaturated. I could probably live on avocados, given my weird metabolism. Alas, I have very little vegan fat in the house, and I'm not about to chug a bottle of olive oil. Part of me is simply pondering the possibility of a parve diet--vegetables, grains, legumes, fruit, eggs, and fish (plus shellfish, 'cause I'm totally not kosher), but no dairy or meat. I might end up relaxing to that at some point in future. For now, though, I'm mostly vegan.

Blah. Going to lay down with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings for a while. I'm just past the part where Daddy Clidell's friends were teaching Maya/Marguerite how not to get taken, and the long con with the jerk in Tulsa. I can't help but think that, given their target, that group of men were a collective Robin Hood. Granted, they didn't say anything about giving to the poor, but they certainly showed a racist twit the other end of the con game.

Quick Post

2009-08-31T23:46:00.004-05:00

Just a quick heads up (again) to say that I'm still alive. RL is going well--I'm happy in my personal life for the first time in many, many years, and my gallbladder (aka The Beast) is now floating in a jar of formaldehyde somewhere--and I'm hoping to formally get writing back on track again soon.

It's still suffering somewhat from the upset my life took in February. However, I've been meeting people in the profession, and I'm actually working with a good friend from Texas, helping him copy-edit a nonfiction book, which is pretty kickass. There's nothing in it save thanks and maybe a professional leg up (and, I'm promised, a roof and a bed whenever I'm out that way), but I enjoy the work and I very much enjoy the chance to work with someone like this. (Colleen, Linda, you know who I'm talking about.)

On the actual writing front, the book should be ready to market within a month or two, Elvis willing, and I'm finally revamping a novelette that's in dire need of attention. It's got a lot of potential, but it needs serious work. At least I've got people who can help me with the finer aspects of librarianship. (I not-so-secretly refer to the story as my librarians-as-gods story. You have no idea how happy this makes the librarians in my life.) Other than that, I'm just working on getting properly geared up again. No idea what I'll be doing or where I'll be ten years from now, but I'll be writing. Unless I've kicked it, which probably means I won't be doing much of anything. :P

Am loosely playing with the idea of going back to school for Fashion Design, of all things. It's something I'd enjoy, though, and there's no way in HELL I could stand four years of academics. Let me get my hands on something, and I'll be happy as a clam in silt. And if there's one thing I know my way around, it's a sewing machine.

Erk. Is midnight. I'm due up in seven hours. First day back post-op. Wish me luck!

Still alive.

2009-06-12T16:08:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the extended blackout period. The last few weeks have been far too exciting. This excitement has included:

- Gallbladder FAIL. Little bastard is still installed, but I'm seeing a service tech in a few days.
- A week of teaching some awesome kids to sew. They did a great job, and much fun was had.
- Deciding that I'm just about ready to start dating again. There are some interesting people out there. That's not always a compliment.
- Not enough writing, though I've got my FINAL EVER Writers of the Future entry ready to be mailed. Final, that is, unless my RoF publication date is pushed back again.
- Neil Gaiman is off the market. This seems to be huge news on the Internets. Eh, I'm just happy for him and Miss AFP, and I hope my luck is as good as theirs was.
- A neck rash. Yes, a neck rash. I tried to see if shorts + sunblock = jeans in the coverage department, and, yeah. WTF, immune system?

Gotta jet in a minute. Things to do tonight, and I need to start getting them done. Will post again soon, promise!

This is the greatest thing ever seen upon the Internets.

2009-05-08T12:35:00.000-05:00

Gorramit.

2009-04-19T15:50:00.000-05:00

I got caught up in reading and forgot I'm supposed to be editing and making notes. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not.

Out with the old, in with the headache.

2009-04-19T11:17:00.002-05:00

It's time for me to write two-page synopses of Books 2 and 3. Book 1 is nearly ready to stop around, and I've got to get my ass in gear on the other that I finished (in my bull-headed way--common sense does not compute). I'm going through with major changes needed to make the books fall in line with the revised Book 1, and I'm doing something actually fairly clever: at the end of each chapter, I'm rewriting the whole thing in one sentence. That lets me keep note of the important bits. Hence, I won't have to boil down any more 16-page synopses.

What? My fingers don't know when to shut up.

In other news, I have today off. Tomorrow is moving, Tuesday will involve taking my Conestoga costume to work so I can finish sewing it before going shopping for the last piece I need, Wednesday and Thursday are work and packing, and Friday starts the con. Going to be a VERY busy week, so I'm doing nothing today but editing, laundry, and hopefully a little exercise. (Believe it or not, all of these things are relaxing.) I should probably find room for food in there, too, but that's not such an issue. Worst case scenario, I have tofu and stir-fry frozen veggies. And frozen edamame. Mmm, edamame.

Okay, off to do some chores, take a shower, and get back to work! My life is so exciting. Indeed.

Amazon clusterfuck

2009-04-12T20:56:00.004-05:00

Unless you're living under a rock, you've heard all about the Amazon clusterfuck, in which pretty much every GLBT book they sell has been declared "adult" material (ie, explicit) and been stripped of ranking AND availability on Amazon searches. To give an indication of what's considered explicit, Heather Has Two Mommies was included. Amazon says it was a glitch, but this is one hell of a glitch. It's more on level of a site hack.

In any case, I'm pissed off. On the off chance that this thing stays put, that's my bread and butter they're fucking with (to quote Metalocalypse). Most of my writing has GLBT characters and deals with GLBT issues. The main character in the series Colleen is working with me on? Gay as a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide (to quote Good Omens). The novel I started for fun a couple of weeks ago? MC is a 6'2" muscular bull dyke.

Me? I'm a 5'4" pudgy lipstick bi chick. (Why can't I have a cool term like "lipstick lesbian?") I don't appreciate being told--whether by glitch, hack, or executive decision--that I'm offensive, and I'm sure no-one else on the queer spectrum does, either. It's not exactly fun to grow up this way, and a lot of the books currently being censored are intended to help kids through the horrible "why am I this way, and how do I fix it?" phase that so commonly hits about the time you realise the captain of the girls' basketball team is way hotter than the guys' captain. That this could, if not fixed, impact my future income adds injury to insult.

In short, I'm angry. If it's deliberate, I'm angry that anyone could stoop to such a level. If it's accidental, I'm angry that Amazon's systems were so vulnerable to such a glitch. Whatever it is, they need to fix it. If nothing else, the amount of business they'll lose for the sake of alienating the queer community and its straight allies is far greater than what they'd bring in from opposing groups.

2009-04-05T16:19:00.001-05:00

Aldous, the cat in my icon, died today. He was four years old. I found his body. We don't know what happened, but he's going to the animal hospital at Stillwater for autopsy, just in case it's something that might affect the other cats.

I loved him more than anyone or anything.

That time of year again.

2009-04-02T00:16:00.002-05:00

I've been dreading this event: the first bout of my biannual allergy-induced insomnia. The trees are mating left and right, and the mould spore is skyrocketing. It's not as bad as most years, but I'm putting that down to my lovely, lovely chemo. (No, seriously. Apart from a few side effects, I don't know how I ever lived without it.) I'd take a Lunesta, but they tend to just make me hallucinate.

On the writing front, I'm about 50 pages into a new novel. It's only being written for fun, so I don't know if it'll ever see print. Time and Colleen will probably determine that, though. I'm really enjoying it--I actually remember, for the first time in months, why I started writing in the first place. (It's been a rough few months, in case you couldn't tell. That's what happens when an undeserving oaf breathes down your neck, demanding to know why you haven't sold any books yet.) I'm at a point where I need to just go back and re-read from the start to figure out what happens next. I should probably do some actual plotting, too. Like I said, I'm writing it for fun. I love plotting by the seat of my pants.

I'm going to stick Neil Gaiman on for a while and see if it helps me sleep. Let's hear it for The Graveyard Book!

Writing Romance

2009-03-17T22:05:00.003-05:00

I'm working on a Just For Fun novel to clear my mind of Larger Things. It's reminding me of why I never got into Romance. A lot of my writing includes romances, some of which could be described as epic. However, the romance novels I've read tend to focus on the sappy parts of epic love.

I'm more interested in the body count.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm going to be single for at least a while. When your ideal romantic movie is Bram Stoker's Dracula simply because (not enough) people die and there's blood everywhere, it might be best to keep to oneself in that respect.

"Well, fuck" has now become "WTF?"

2009-03-11T22:04:00.002-05:00

Not in a bad way, mind. I've just found out (late, as usual) that RoF is coming back, hopefully starting in May, which means that "Nell and the Devil" will make an appearance at, um, some point. This is a very, very good thing, not only for the sake of my fledgling pro status (woo, SFWA membership qualification!), but for my pocketbook. I'm not getting a hell of a lot of money, according to the real world, but I'll be damned if I forget about it.

Three cheers for RoF! Huzzah! =)

This totally selfish post has been brought to you by My Feet Hurt And I Want Sleep.

ETA: Make that July. I don't mind. That's another period or two of WotF qualification.

RAR!

2009-03-08T21:47:00.003-05:00

Why do I have so much more difficulty with short stories than novels? Short stories feel like diet cheesecake: I know it's supposed to be good for me (or at least better than the real stuff), but, c'mon. Really?

This post brought to you by a story that's been through at least three versions in as many years, and writing on a shitty mattress because my desk and fancy ergonomic chair are still at the house.

Well, fuck.

2009-03-01T18:24:00.001-06:00

Looks like "Nell and the Devil" won't be appearing in Realms of Fantasy this April. I have no idea what the situation is, but it's not on the ToC for the final issue.

Sigh. Story of my life, I guess.

Brief Update

2009-03-01T13:28:00.002-06:00

The long and short of my month of silence pretty much comes down to one thing: due to his own chronic depression and my chronic illnesses, my husband dumped me at the start of February. I'm convinced he's going through a mid-life crisis--the words "Florida" and "sports car" came up--and he can have it. I'm doing well and renting a room from a friend right now, though it'll be nice when my computer desk is here so I can write without tearing up my back. I'm starting to slink from a nasty creativity crimp. Mostly, I'm just working on getting my life in order.

That's pretty much it. Taking the day to try and write, so I'm going to get back to that. It's slow going, but it will be for a few weeks yet.

Well, I'm cursed.

2009-01-28T19:50:00.002-06:00

Last year, a story of mine was published in City Slab. A couple of months later, CS was sadly no more. Now, one of my stories will appear in the very last issue ever of the already missed and wonderful Realms of Fantasy.

Editors, please take note. My writing may be good, but there's a chance it will be the kiss of death. I can only take heart that ChiZine and Baen's UNIVERSE are still going strong.

While waiting for AAA....

2009-01-28T10:59:00.002-06:00

I'm waiting for AAA to tow my car to the auto shop up the road. We're at the end of an ice storm, and my gas tank (damn ethanol's hygroscopic properties!) is frozen. I think I just need them to thaw it out. It's got a fresh two gallons already.

Anyway. Things are looking up on all fronts, thanks to something of a last-ditch resort: Vitamin D. I started taking 1000 IU the other day when I realised that I was only at about 800 IU daily intake, and my doctor gave me strict instructions to get more. From the first day, I've been more energetic and in less pain. Who'd'a thunk?

Yesterday was my birthday (HELLO! I AM 2^5 TODAY!), and in true birthday tradition, I took a nap, then stayed up until 5:00 in the freakin' morning. (Hence, why it's 11:00 and I've just now called AAA on the busiest tow-truck day of the year.) What did I stay up doing? Writing story notes for an idea that's been stuck in my craw for months. Not a short story, either; novel. Maybe series, if things go well. There's certainly enough material. I need to do some research, though. Anyone got any particularly good references regarding New York City and Connecticut in the 1880s? Information on what happened to the Patroon families and how they coped with the fallout from the Anti-Rent War would be appreciated, too.

Going to try and get some more work done before the truck gets here. I've only got, oh, an hour and 45 minutes. Barely enough time to bake a cake from scratch. :P Next time there's going to be an ice storm, someone remind me to fill up the car on the way home from work? "Tired" is not an excuse.

Writer's block, or, The downside of winter (and lupus)

2009-01-21T20:49:00.003-06:00

I'm writing this mostly because I need to write something today. I'm dealing with... well, it's closer to writer's exhaustion than writer's block. I've got plenty of ideas, including some damned good ones, but I'm unable to sit down and execute them right now. It's due to a combination of factors, including day job overwork, either lupus or FMS flaring (signs point toward both or the latter), and seasonal depression. The seasonal depression is compounded by the knowledge that it's probably going to be a permanent thing; sunlight does bad, bad things to me, and I really need to avoid all common types of light more than I currently do. Vampires are only cool and creepy night dwellers until you learn first-hand what it really means to live in the dark. (Yes, this means I'll probably write a vampire novel one of these days. Don't worry; I do anger better than angst.)

I'm actually not feeling sorry for myself, believe it or not. I'm just frustrated and angry and in dire need of some overtly creative activity. As I've said, writing is out because I'm too tired to concentrate, and I really pour my energy into it. Sewing is out because I don't have all the tools I need. I'll probably sit down with some knitting in a few minutes. Or, because I think I can do it, I might write a brief synopsis for a holiday comedy I want to write. That, at least, would be something.

Right. Going to write that synopsis, and then I'm going to eat something other than a banana. It may be another banana, but it'll be food. I have to remind myself sometimes that writing is just one work after another. If I can write one word, I can write another. That helps a lot.

Kickass.

2009-01-19T11:19:00.001-06:00

(I'm home sick today--stupid lupus and/or FMS--so I'm posting things until I go lay down. Which is right now.)

Because someone asked today.

2009-01-15T10:22:00.001-06:00

No, I did not write the sequel-thingy to Pride and Prejudice currently available on Amazon. That was another S. E. Ward.

That is all.

KHAAAAAAAN!!!

2009-01-14T23:08:00.003-06:00

Dude, Ricardo Montalban is dead. That is NOT COOL. Star Trek II was a major part of my childhood, and it's carried on for a long, long time. (We won't even get into Freakazoid. "Laugh with meeeeeee!") The man was one hell of an actor and a major icon. I'm going to miss knowing he's in the world.

ETA: And Patrick McGoohan. Seriously, today was a shitty, shitty day to be a sci-fi icon.

New blog ahoy!

2009-01-14T18:35:00.002-06:00

As this blog was meant to be writing-related and has turned into a big lump of knitting and sewing, I've set up another blog, Seward's Folly, to take up that slack. Writing, editing, cats, bitching, and general collapsing into a ball of sobs and dough will remain here, never fear.

Some things to update on the writing front, btw. I just need resolution on one. The other is that I've submitted my final ever entry to the Writers of the Future Contest. Wish me luck!

Now, I find dinner!

Strange New Experiences

2009-01-04T12:23:00.002-06:00

Yesterday at work, I did something I'd never done before: almost single-handedly, I stretched a king-sized quilting frame. It took seven hours, but apparently, it never takes that long again. Really, it's just a puzzle based on how a quilt fits together (backing, batting, top), and one HELL of a lot of pinning. I think after a few more tries, I'll be able to do it in about an hour--less on a smaller quilt. No, it wasn't for a quilt. We keep one stretched to demo the long-arm quilting machine, and stretching plain fabric was trying enough. Maybe next time I'll be ready to try on a quilt top.

In other news, I've got some actual time off (apart from a vet appointment, a doc appointment, an emergency run to work to fix something I forgot about yesterday, and a work meeting at the crack of dawn on Wednesday). Hence, I'm going to finish editing a story (I hope), get a LOT of sleep, maybe play some computer games, and try one more time to cast on a new knitting project. I have a sneaking feeling I'm going to get at least one cortisone shot on Tuesday, which will probably floor my chances of doing anything productive, but until then, I'm goofing my butt off. Mmm, goofing off. These 40-hour-plus weeks? Not exactly conducive to creativity.

New Year's reading rant

2009-01-01T14:19:00.005-06:00

I know this is an old argument, but how come of the last ten books I read, only one major character was anything but white? That, btw, was Shadow from American Gods. Seriously, people, there are other colours, cultures, and socioeconomic situations out there. Not everyone is a lightly tanned noble running from his European duties.

Okay, that's the end of this New Year's rant. May your hangovers be merciful, and your inboxes free from spam!

ETA: If anyone's interested in a fantastic series that breaks the traditional mould, check out Elizabeth E. Wein's Arthurian/Aksumite books. A realistic Camelot, a major female character with real sense and power, and a wonderful YA protagonist in the later books, Telemakos. I highly, highly recommend the books to anyone between the ages of 10 (or a mature 8) and 1,000.

FINALLY.

2008-12-17T04:17:00.002-06:00

I've finally finished knitting the blanket I started in August. Had a moment of panic when I took it out of the washer and discovered three places where my yarn joins had broken, but with the help of a crochet hook and some safety pins, I got it back in one piece. The yarn is marvelously soft, though it pilled a bit in the dryer. I'll just warn whoever gets it in the gift exchange that too much washing will result in the need for a sweater shaver.

And now I'm going to bed.

Rrrr! Brains!

2008-12-10T14:17:00.003-06:00

Sigh. I'm editing down the Sex Scene that Wouldn't Die. Its graphic intensity rivals the heaviest slash, and, well, it's TEN PAGES LONG. (Remember this one? Plot plot plot plot, TEN PAGES OF....) Alas, in order to fit with the rest of the book, the most, er, shameless bits need to be taken down a notch.

Yes, this sucks. Big time.

At least I decided against cutting the whole thing. For now. Le sigh.

Rrrr.

2008-12-09T22:00:00.003-06:00

It's been a great day. Apart from a 30-minute workout kicking my ass, I felt pretty normal today (rare for a methotrexate day). The only real downer is that I have to go to bed in a minute because I feel good. Sleep will keep me feeling that way. And I was so looking forward to staying up with my latest NetFlix haul. Sigh.

A Dangerous Man: Lawrence After Arabia, btw. OMFG, Ralph Fiennes and Siddig El Fadil. Yum.

Fannish encroachment

2008-12-09T16:35:00.003-06:00

In a 145K-word book, is it too much to have two (possibly three) subtle fannish references? One is unintentional, one is deliberate, and the maybe is deliberate and comparatively very, very obscure. (I can't remember if it got cut or not. Don't think so, though.)

Bah. Who knows? I'll poke Colleen next read and see what she thinks.

The temp today has dropped from nearly 60F to below freezing. I'm really, really glad I decided to take my car into the shop in mid-afternoon rather than evening or, worse, tomorrow morning. Eek. Nothing wrong, AFAIK--just lube, oil, and filter, a tire check, a squeaky belt, and a possible blown fuse. My poor car. There's so much crap in it, including a pimp hat and a random Halloween cloak of indeterminate origin.

Back to writing. I'm about edited out for the evening, but I've got through a LOT in the past 48 hours, including a scene that needed to be reconstructed from the ground up.

**looks out the window** I fear this is a night for Postum and ramen. Mmm, ramen.

Less crap.

2008-11-29T23:22:00.002-06:00

Seems the trans isn't completely shot. However, it's blown a gasket somewhere in the middle, and the whole thing will have to be removed in order to do a $1 repair. You have no idea how annoying this is. Better than the alternative, though.

Still, if his car ever leaks fluid again and it takes him six weeks to care, I'm tying him naked to the side of our chimney. In February.

Well, crap.

2008-11-29T08:12:00.002-06:00

The Import's car's AC needs a new compressor, and now the transmission's shot.

There goes Christmas.

Retail Hell

2008-11-28T07:39:00.001-06:00

Getting up to work retail on Black Friday is much, much easier after you've had good, long snuggles with three separate cats. Apparently, the "black" part indicates one of the kitties.

Ahh.

2008-11-23T18:23:00.001-06:00

It's amazing what a new purple bra can do for your self image.

Website Stuff and Things

2008-11-18T15:43:00.003-06:00

In order to put off cleaning the kitchen (hey, I'm doing laundry, at least), I've made some actual updates to my website. I still need to seriously update the links page--adding all of my fellow Colleen clients, unless anyone objects--but I've got my Works to Date updated, as well as some bio info. Most of the bio info is about the cats, because the cats are, obviously, the most important thing in my life. (Baby's asleep by my chair. I don't want to wake and enrage her by saying anything else.)

In other news, I've washed every dirty towel in the house, thrown some blankets in the washer, and completely ignored the train wreck in the kitchen sink. Given that I just took my mtx (methotrexate) dose last night, I think I'm doin' pretty darn well.

In sewing machine news, I'm trying to decide between an amazing sewing-only machine, or a fairly bare-bones sewing-and-embroidery machine. The first comes with a walking foot (yes, this is a big deal), but the second is an embroidery machine. Machine embroidery is crack. I want a high-end sew-emb machine, but that'll have to wait until I've sold some novels.

Which reminds me, I need to get my butt in gear. Editing, ho!

Ohhhhh. =)

2008-11-18T10:41:00.001-06:00

I just had a long, kisses-packed snuggle with my Precious Baby Angel. =) Stinky kitten kisses are the best!

Actual Word Count

2008-11-12T19:26:00.002-06:00

I'm almost 2,700 words into a re-write of a novella. I'm paring it down to novelette length. This doesn't sound like much, but it's the most new writing I've felt up to in months.

Ending now. In the zone, and I'm not very pleasant to be around right now.

Open Letters to the Most Important Person In My Life

2008-11-11T10:39:00.002-06:00

Dear Self,

Eight. Thirteen. See the difference? Please note that someone who is the latter should not act like the former. Now go back, re-work about six chapters, and fix this thing.

But go easy, mmkay? It is Tuesday, after all.

No real love, but a bit of lenience,

Me

***

Dear Self,

It's Tuesday. You know what that means. No running out to get yarn (never mind your pile of knitting waiting to be finished--on deadline, I might add). You need to eat some breakfast, but go easy. The last thing you need is to play Vomit Cannon in the living room. Crowley is much better at it, and he's cute enough to get away with it. (Especially when you're in the middle of saying, "How did they ever fit so much handsome into one cat?" Seriously, where is a video camera when you need one?)

You know full well you're exhausted. Now go and rest. Keep the yoga and the eating to a minimum, since you're feeling urpy again. And please, stop laughing so hard you cry. Cat puke isn't that hilarious (okay, it is), but remember, you're the one who gets to clean it up.

GO REST!

Me

Looking up.

2008-11-02T23:30:00.002-06:00

I managed to play Wii Fit for the first time in more than three weeks tonight. I'm exhausted for it, but it's not the hideous, crippling, agonised exhaustion I've had lately. I'm not even sore, though that could be due to the 100mg of Ultram I necked back earlier. I need to take another 100mg before bed so I can manage at work tomorrow. Still, improvement is improvement. Huzzah for methotrexate!

This tune may change tomorrow night, mind. I ramp up to full maintenance dose, and may spend Election Day hugging a bucket. It won't be nearly enough to keep me away from my polling place, but I suspect my watch party will involve pizza, OJ punch, and MSNBC. (OJ punch is just orange juice--sometimes with pineapple and/or mango--mixed with Sprite and a dash of Rose's lime juice. It's nummy, and downright healthy if you use Sprite Zero.)

Going to finish reading a chapter on LLTD, then get some sleep.

Also? Finished the last three eps of the most recent series of Doctor Who. OMG so, so good. I was very nearly crying by the end. If a mysterious blue box ever lands in front of my house, well, expect these posts to get a lot more interesting.

You alllll hate me.

2008-10-31T20:24:00.002-05:00

Tonight, I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that good genes, a strict skin care regiment, and an awesome costume will let you successfully trick-or-treat at age 31. I will repeat this experiment next year, and each year after that, in order to conduct a fully scientific study. (Of course, the ability to be mistaken for a teenager helps.)

If you didn't hate me enough, gas in my area is down to $1.959 a gallon. Yes, I can fill my car for around $25.00. Grovel before me, mere mortals. My fuel is relatively reasonably priced!

Off to shower now. Eyeliner was NOT meant to be used as lipstick OR eyebrow pencil, and it needs to come off.

It's the Great Omen, Charlie Brown!

2008-10-29T14:06:00.002-05:00

When the frost is on the punkin
And the comet fills the sky
And the Great Pumpkin Empire rises
Then you and I will die.

This has been running through my head all frickin' day. I think it's a sign that not only is Halloween near, but I haven't remotely reached my fill of horror movies. While I'm sure Charles Schultz would have a coronary at the idea of the Great Pumpkin rising to signal the end of the world, it makes perfect sense to me. Seriously, has anyone ever checked Linus for birthmarks? He's a weird little kid at the best of times. There's no telling what he's really up to.

Must get back to editing. I'm under orders to take my time so I don't work myself to death (literally), but I want to get through the stuff that works so I can meander along with everything that doesn't.

The medication seems to be doing something. Not a lot yet, and it'll take another few weeks to really work, but I ran errands today and don't feel ready to die. I've put all my bras in the washer to ensure that I don't leave the house again, but I'm still human. This is definitely a good thing. Now if the mould spore would just die forever....

Off to work!

2008-10-28T14:53:00.000-05:00

My short story, "In The Flesh," has been published at a brand-new webzine, Drops of Crimson. Go read, then email Jenn (the editor) to let her know how awesome a job she did. The site looks great, and I'm frothing to get to read all the stories.

Go! Now!

Dose #2

2008-10-27T21:51:00.002-05:00

I feel urpy. :(

So totally going to bed. Possibly with a bucket. Doesn't help that the side effects kicked in properly today. I spent most of the day afraid to eat for fear of reverse seconds.

Word to the wise: avoid lupus at all costs.

Urgh.

2008-10-20T23:11:00.002-05:00

Chemotherapy, I has it but I don't think I wants it. Pls be sending David Tennant in an apron and nary else.

(Don't panic, it's lupus chemo, not cancer chemo. Is it too much to hope for the "less common and/or rare" side effect of weight loss?)

Kitty!

2008-10-15T12:26:00.000-05:00

I feel like butt, but the weather is perfectly cold and rainy, and I'm snuggling a stinky kitty. =)

So my tastes are weird. Shut up. :P

Still Alive

2008-10-05T23:19:00.002-05:00

I'm still alive. Been busy with work and writing and knitting and lupus, though, and I just haven't had much time for the Intarweb. I've got a bunch of emails to get back to (sorry, Ingrid and Linda!), so with luck I'll get to do that later in the week. I'm in the middle of a lupus flare, though, so I may just sleep until Wednesday.

Must go and eat something. I slept until almost noon, slept again from 4:00 to 8:00, and will probably pass out again within the hour. Lupus really is an annoying condition. Between pain and exhaustion, it's hard to want to do anything right now.

First Day of Work

2008-09-23T20:09:00.001-05:00

Sweet Elvis, I need to take up sewing again. There is not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. Curse my hyper-creative kinesthetic ways!

DO WANT

2008-09-22T02:29:00.001-05:00

I. Need. This shirt. XXL. For indeed, the message is apt.

Re-Entering the Workforce 101

2008-09-21T21:44:00.002-05:00

So starting Tuesday, I shall be gainfully employed. This is going to sound dorky to most of you and OMFG amazing to a few, but I'm going to be working in a sewing machine store. An AWESOME sewing machine store. I spent more than an hour playing with one on Friday, and IT SEWS SIDEWAYS. IT SEWS ON A DIAGONAL. I WANT ONE!

No, this will not eat into writing or knitting time. However, I may have to take up sewing again at some point. I haven't really done it since we moved into an apartment too small and cluttered to really spread out any fabric. Now that we're in a house, though....

On the plus side, the toys at work are too expensive to randomly bring one home. Mmm, toys. Waaaaant....

Anyone got a thousand dollars spare I can have?

Potential Booty?

2008-09-19T11:03:00.009-05:00

Arr, it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, mateys. That mean I be havin' a job interview as bonny as a bottle o' rum fresh from Barbados. What be a pirate to do?

Arr. A conundrum this be.

One more thing.

2008-09-19T11:03:00.006-05:00

All of you USian types are registered to vote, aren't you? We're getting awfully close to the deadline before November 4.

A heart attack I did NOT need

2008-09-19T11:03:00.003-05:00

I just saw what appeared to be a ms page on my printer. A few days ago, I finally submitted a story that I've been struggling with for over two years. It's been written in whole twice, edited, revamped, and finally got down to a (hopefully) finished product of 14,700 words. The whole thing is 65 pages long.

You have not experienced heart-stopping horror until you think you left out the last page.

Fortunately, it turned out to be this year's holiday fruitcake recipe printed on the back of one of my old unused printouts--of a completely different story. It's all too strong of an illustration of what this week has been like. At least this bit turned out for the best.

Now I'm going to go play with my Wii and hope I get a new couch (and some other, slightly more mysterious and potentially horrible things) today.

I'm calling you "Stinky"

2008-09-16T11:37:00.003-05:00

Crowley, aka Gorbacat (no, seriously, he looks like Gorbachev), has a few disconcerting habits and a particular affinity for stench. His breath stinks, his butt used to reek like a dead alligator in a cesspool, and he likes to share his stink. When he has a bath, not only do the soggy slurping sounds echo through the room, but the stench follows. How he isn't a walking blob of stink is beyond me.

Anyhow, he's discovered a new source of stink: Daddy's shoes. The Import will get home from work and take his shoes off. Half a second later, Crowley's hunched over them and has his face in one to the neck. I'm not stupid enough to actually want to smell Daddy's feet (especially since he can never find where I put the socks), but if Crowley likes it, they've got to be pretty ripe. I pity the beauty tech who someday gives him a pedicure.

Is it just my cats, or are everyone else's cats crazy? (I can't even go to the bathroom without Baby deciding she's got a captive audience and all the pettins she can take.)

The Joy of Sleep

2008-09-14T02:11:00.004-05:00

So last night I dreamt (horribly) that Barack Obama only got 3,000 votes nationwide in the general election. No idea where it came from, but now I'm afraid to go to bed. ("Can't sleep. Neo-cons will eat me. Can't sleep. Neo-cons will eat me.") I'm going to try and wear myself out on the Wii Fit, then take some pain killers.

Smoke me a kipper. I'll ~~be back for~~ sleep through breakfast.

Um, wow.

2008-09-09T18:41:00.003-05:00

Realms of Fantasy just bought my short story, "Nell and the Devil."

Holy crap. I totally expected Shawna to pass on it, but, eek. This story is significant for a couple of reasons:

It's the first fairy tale I've ever sold, and one of the purest pieces of fantasy I've ever written.
It's my third professional short story sale, which means I'm very close to (finally) qualifying for Active SFWA membership, and equally close to the end of my Writers of the Future eligibility period.

I'm a little stunned right now. Also, I'm thoughtful, and this sale kind of makes me want to just pull in the old belt and see if we can just live on the Import's salary for a while. I had a horrific job interview today (for reasons I won't go into), so this kinda makes me think I should just try to go the writing-and Etsy route for a while. I'm crafty. I make cool stuff. Hmm.

Needless to say, I have much to think about now, and a .doc file to send off!

No more knitting, no more writing....

2008-09-07T23:57:00.003-05:00

We installed our Wii Fit tonight. (Its purchase pre-dates the tally on the car trouble, btw.) I've done 40 minutes of exercise this evening, and I'm trying to decide if I want more. Nine minutes of that was jogging in place. It doesn't sound like much, but that's pretty good for an out-of-shape arthritic. :)

ETA, 20 minutes later: OMFG MY LEGS! AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!! *goes to find the Epsom salts*

twitch

2008-09-06T13:13:00.002-05:00

Gettin' itchy to finish the book. For the first time in about five or six years, I'm fairly relaxed and have enough room to breathe. (House is still a mess, but c'est la vie.) It feels weird to have time to keep myself sane and (relatively) healthy. I need bone-crushing work!

Tonight is my monthly knitting and drinking night. Woo! I shall have a Harvey Wallbanger, and at IHOP, I'm getting pancakes. Strawberry, of course.

Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!

2008-09-03T22:31:00.002-05:00

Apparently, Kaitlyn Maher on America's Got Talent is the Hypno-Toad.

I, fortunately, am immune to child cute. (But if she were a kitty, it'd all be over.)

Public Service Announcement

2008-09-03T08:20:00.005-05:00

Getting gauge on double knitting is a royal pain in the....

Also? Taking the car to the shop at 7:30 in the morning after approximately three hours' sleep is almost hallucinatory. WHEE!

I'm goin' back to bed.

ETA: Sleep ain't happening. Sigh. No word on the car, yet, either, which means it's REALLY screwed. The only real plus side to the day is that I've started knitting my blanket, and the yarn I'm using is amazing. My allergies say it's wool, but my fingers say it's a cotton blend. Mmm, cotton.

ETA2: Part of the A/C compressor is shot. However, we'll have to replace the whole thing because the part in question isn't sold separately, and the whole process will cost the better part of a grand. Oh, yay. Time to invoke the mystical power of the in-laws.

Did I mention that part of the electrical system on my car is shot? Blood pressure... rising....

falls over

2008-09-02T03:27:00.004-05:00

Finished's knitting Mom's present. Now I just have to block it, then fold it up with some cedar balls until December. The biggest potential problem is that I have to borrow Mom and Dad's floor to wet block the thing, else it'll turn into a cat bed-slash-scratching post. (Baby adores wool.) I might just be able to order her to stay out of her guest bedroom for a day or so.

Next step: a checkerboard, double-knitted, lap-sized blanket. I am NOT making anything larger than that. For one, I don't have the yarn. Mostly, though, OMFG, just NO!

Seriously, I just need to take a break from gift stuff and make something for myself. It'll probably be a hat and scarf, but that's fine. I found some gorgeous German needlepoint designs from 1597 a couple of days ago, and most of them are just begging to be turned into knitwear. I wonder if I could design a princess-seamed or empire-waisted sweater with a colour-stranded stomacher? Hmm. *note to self: cut back on What Not To Wear*

Bollocks.

2008-08-29T15:27:00.004-05:00

There's an Obama rally in Tulsa tomorrow morning. However, it's way, WAY north of me, and will be outside. If not for the promise of sunlight, I'd be there. (Even if The Man Himself comes to Oklahoma, I may have to bow out for the sake of sunlight. Or, y'know, it would be worth spending three days in bed for that chance. We shall see.)

Hmm. Should probably locate the Tulsa County Democratic HQ so I can put in a few volunteer hours. If nothing else, it'll net me an invitation to the watch party come November. Woo, watch party! Always a good time to be had.

DNC

2008-08-29T01:13:00.001-05:00

I. Heart. Barack. Obama. SO much. I have never seen a public figure half in his league as a speaker, a thinker, or a man of the people.

Also? His kids are adorable, and Michelle is crazy smart and hot.

Hell.

2008-08-28T17:07:00.002-05:00

I just found out about Del Martin. Poor Phyllis. Anyone worth marrying twice is priceless.

Different Editing

2008-08-28T16:43:00.002-05:00

Since I can only go so long without trying to hurt my own brain, I'm paring down a novelette so I can try to sell it to Asimov's. (And, hey, I just checked my "do market research" file, and I've got a short that hasn't gone to WotF yet! This thing's gettin' polished for next quarter!) I've got about 200 words of novelette to go before it's within guidelines. The story is pretty solid, but I can't help thinking it could be a little tighter. It still needs most of its 15K words, because the storyline is fairly complex, but I'm going to sit down, condense the story into a paragraph, and start again from there.

Oh, regarding my sex scene post from a couple of weeks ago, thanks for the feedback, guys. :) I think that I'll leave it in for now. My big concern is that it kinda sticks out after so many revisions. Right now, the book goes, "Plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, TEN PAGES OF SCORCHINGLY HOT PORN, plot...." I may have to tone things down, but I'll see what Colleen says. At the very least, I know it'll have to be shorter. (And, yes, it gives some character and relationship development--hoo, boy, does that relationship develop--but I don't think it gives ten pages worth.)

Knitting goes apace. Nearly finished with Mom's present. With luck, I'll finish the main body tonight, so I can get to work on the detailing. After that, we move into blanket territory. I think I'm going to be lazy and just knit the whole thing in one piece, with blocks of intarsia rather than separate blocks. (That makes sense to knitters, I promise.) I hate finishing, so that really is the cheater's method in my mind. This way, I'll just knit, block, and throw on a single crochet edging. Boom, blanket.

IF YOU ONLY READ ONE OF MY POSTS, READ THIS ONE.

2008-08-26T14:03:00.003-05:00

Colleen, my extraordinary (and persuasive) agent, has made another post on word counts. She's getting more and more queries with high word counts again, and, well, that's REALLY, REALLY BAD. I posted this in the comments field, but I'm putting it here, too, because you NEED TO KEEP THIS IN MIND. (The all caps are there for a reason, folks. Pay attention.)

People, KEEP your LENGTH DOWN. I'm condensing THREE HUNDRED FREAKING THOUSAND words into 120K. That's FORTY PERCENT of the original length. Sixty percent GONE. DO NOT PULL THIS SORT OF STUNT. If your book is even good enough to consider at that length, it will be chopped to pieces just to make it marketable. You will learn a great deal from that sort of edit, including the meaning of pain.

Seriously, take it from someone who's learned all of this the hard way. KEEP YOUR BOOKS SHORT. (This goes for books shorter than 300K, too, btw. Anything over 120K for an adult novel is begging for surgery, and anything over about 90K for an upper-grade YA gets the same treatment.)

Nngh.

2008-08-23T12:45:00.002-05:00

Last night, I had a horrible nightmare that I went to I Can Has Cheezburger and all of its sister sites and posted, "FIRST!!!" on every new picture. Now I feel filthy.

I can has breakfast? Good breakfast? I think today might finally warrant that IHOP trip.

Blaaagh.

2008-08-20T11:59:00.004-05:00

I'll get to comments when I can, guys, sorry. I went office-type clothes shopping last night (my Clearance Fu is incredible), and realised this morning that I spent about five hours under bare fluorescent bulbs. This wouldn't be a problem, but now I have a butterfly rash, and I think my kidneys are bleeding. Ow. Much ow.

On the plus side, I've been ordered to put down the editing. This is from someone with actual authority, btw (as opposed to the Import). Hence, I'm gonna go and try to finish my Mom's SAGGD present.

Editing

2008-08-19T16:29:00.001-05:00

*breaks down in incoherent sobs*curls up on the floor*becomes a cat bed*

The S-Word

2008-08-18T14:22:00.003-05:00

I've got a particular, um, steamy scene that I'd like to retain as fully as possible. However, nothing that actually happens in the midst of the scene is, well, critical to the plot, apart from the fact that it does happen. Do I keep it, or do I edit it to bare bones? As it stands, it's good. It's probably one of the more evocative love scenes I've ever written. However, there are more important things to deal with, such as, oh, I dunno, THE PLOT.

What do I do? Anyone? Bueller? Should I retain it for now? It's going to hurt if I have to remove this one.

Must run. Have an appointment across town in half an hour. Thank Elvis for highways.

&#$%@!

2008-08-18T02:15:00.003-05:00

I'm at the point where I'm convinced the book sucks, the edits suck, and the whole dang project should be scrapped. While I understand that this is a normal part of the process, it doesn't make things any easier. Also?

Dear Particular Character,

I love you. I love you dearly. However, please stop licking blood from your hands. I understand that blood gets you off like nothing else, but it's making me crave IHOP. No, really. IHOP pancakes with artificially flavoured strawberry syrup. Have you any idea how incredibly disturbing that is?

Now go back into your Special Character Cage and please--oh, Elvis, please--stop making me think of Sonic strawberry slushies. You know, the ones that taste like paradise but look like an especially bad and snowy accident.

Far, far too much love,

Me

Rrr. Before I decide to make an IHOP run, I'm goin' to bed.

BLARRRGH.

2008-08-17T00:11:00.002-05:00

Allergy attack. Twenty-four hour long headache, complete with asthma attack. Thought I was having a migraine. Friggin' exhausted. Editing done today: NIL.

I think everything's settled down now. Keeping fingers crossed. About the only thing I've come anywhere near succeeding in today is a possible decision about my holiday knitting.

I'm committed to two projects, one for my mom and one for my family. I'd like to knit scarves for all my nephews and nieces, save maybe the eldest, who's considered a grown-up now. (This isn't the one who might be deployed, btw; at 22, he's still just a baby IMO.) However, we're going to come down to a matter of time and sanity. Which means I have three options:

Knit my nieces and nephews scarves, for a total of either six or seven. There needs to be a toy for the great-niece as well.
Knit myself a sweater and just shop for the kids.
Knit them all scarves, then knit myself a birthday sweater in January. If I do this, I'll have to work a 32-row or 32-stitch repeat into the pattern. If I could work in 2^5 instead, that would be AWESOME.

I'm leaning toward Option 3. Time, apparently, is not a factor. Nor is sanity. Sigh. Oh, well. Scarves can be easy, at least. When I don't get fancy-pants ideas in my head.

Tomorrow: housework, editing, trip to the store. Knitting in the evening. How is it that someone so wholly unemployed and non-parental can feel so overwhelmed with all there is to do?

Crap.

2008-08-15T13:22:00.001-05:00

My insomnia's back, my dad needs cataract surgery, and my nephew's reserve unit may be deployed to Afghanistan before the end of the year.

Screw today. I'm goin' back to bed.

Argh.

2008-08-15T01:17:00.002-05:00

It's time for me to buckle down on my Secular Atheist Gift-Giving Day (aka Christmas) presents. Yes, I know, it's August, as the Import frequently reminds me. However, I need to finish the rather elaborate gift for my mother, an even more elaborate gift for the family gift exchange, and at least one more scarf. In the midst of all that will be random projects intended for me, because I'm a selfish knitter, including a red-and-brown metallic shawl or stole, depending on the amount of yarn I've actually got. I suppose I could always get hold of a third colour if necessary--gold would be nice.

Keep in mind, I knit in order to relax. I love writing, but it gets so overwhelming that sometimes I just need a completely (or almost completely) unrelated creative venture to let me vent. One reason it works so well is because it's not purely creative. It's basically engineering. Hence, I get to use my math skills, my problem solving skills, and my design and construction skills, not to mention that I get to let my Inner Rainman run wild. Anyway, it takes forever to finish a novel, and even longer to sell one. Knitting is far more immediate. Hell, on Sunday morning I started an eight-foot-long scarf, and by Monday evening, it was finished. Don't look so impressed; I double stranded two fairly bulky novelty yarns and used size 11 needles. The whole thing was only 12 stitches wide.

I think I'm going to edit for a little while longer, then go and, I dunno, work on a sock. Or Mom's present, since I really do need to finish it so I can block the thing. She's had a rough year, including major spinal surgery, and she could use something nice and handmade. She's one of the few people I know who really, genuinely understands the work that goes into a handmade item, and who will appreciate it and treat it with care. That said, if she just folds it up and only takes it out for special occasions, I'm pulling it out of its box and making her wear it. ;) Knitting is to be used, not hidden. So sayeth the person whose favourite (cheap yarn) shawl is currently wadded on the floor, where one of the cats dragged it off to make a bed.

Jewish Graphic Novels

2008-08-14T00:58:00.003-05:00

Today, I finally got to visit the Sherwin Miller Museum of Jewish Art, for the Jewish Graphic Novel exhibit. It closes Sunday (and the museum is never open on Saturdays--Shabbat, don'chaknow), and I'm seriously considering going back that day to see it again. The exhibit covers the history of comic books and graphic novels from a Jewish perspective, and focuses specifically on several novels by Jewish authors and artists that pertain directly to Jewish history, culture, and religion. Will Eisner's work was featured heavily, of course, and I was unspeakably happy to see a whole panel on Magneto. The writer who really developed his character was Jewish, and it was his idea to make him a tragic hero as much as a supervillain. (Magneto is one of my favourite fictional characters simply because he is so complex.)

My happiest discoveries were three comic artists whose work I was previously unfamiliar with: Joann Sfar (The Rabbi's Cat), Steve Sheinkin (the Rabbi Harvey books), and J. T. Waldman (Megillat Esther). They have radically different styles of both art and storytelling, and their work ranges from enchanting (Sfar) to hilarious (Sheinkin) to breathtaking (Waldman). Megillat Esther in particular is intriguing because it retells the Book of Esther (ha'Megillat Esther) in graphic novel format. The artwork is beautiful, and Waldman did a wonderful job of not only bringing the characters to life, but of combining ancient Babylonian symbolism with Hebrew calligraphy.

If anyone in the Tulsa area is free Thursday, Friday, or Sunday, the exhibit is well worth the price of admission. The museum has two permanent exhibits as well. The Holocaust exhibit is subtle and chilling; it's jarring to realise that the enamelled tin cup on the other side of the glass belonged to someone in one of the camps, and several examples of American anti-Semitism are displayed at the beginning of the exhibit, demonstrating why the Nazis were able to get away with so much for so long. Upstairs, they have their general exhibit on Jewish history, which includes a lot of beautiful artwork, several very delicate Torah scrolls (with eeny, weeny writing, agh, my eyes), and some incredible examples of embroidered and quilted religious items, like challah cloths and a beautiful bar mitzvah outfit that had belonged to a boy in Poland.

Definitely worth the admission. If anyone is interested in travelling to Tulsa to see the museum, they'll have a new exhibit opening September 21: In A Different Light: The Book of Genesis in the Art of Samuel Bak. I'm considering getting a membership so I can wander to the museum with a sketchbook every once in a while.

Portrait of the Author

2008-08-12T22:18:00.007-05:00

It's a well-known fact that I hate having my picture taken. I even tried to wheedle out of wedding photos at my own wedding. Hence, I have no author photo even remotely available.

I have turned to the South Park Studio for a chillingly accurate pictorial depiction of myself. Please note that, in Real Life, there is no possible way I could fit behind a single book, save maybe those gargantuan medieval tomes you see in museums. In any case, I now present to you the South Park version of moi.

There. Wasn't that exciting? I'm sure your lives are enriched beyond comprehension. (And, yes, this really does look eerily like me. It's possible to recognise me based on this picture.)

Ding, dong, the heat wave's dead...!

2008-08-11T23:08:00.002-05:00

Our highs are currently in the 80s (Fahrenheit), with lows in the mid to upper 60s. This makes me happy; I can start taking my bike out at night again. In a few months, "night" will mean anytime after about 6:00. I'm not up to my 2-3 mile regular course yet, but I did over a mile tonight, with some fairly significant uphill climbs, and I didn't dismount once. Rather than pushing for speed, I pushed for stamina. Going slower helped a LOT.

That said, some lower humidity would help, too. I feel like I've been for a swim. *holds shirt away from chest* Yech.

Still plugging along with edits. Have also finished the novelty yarn scarf I started on Saturday, when I'd Harvey Wallbanged myself beyond taste. It actually looks really cool. It's also about eight feet long. Since it's stockinette stitch, it curls into a tube. Wearing it is like wearing a very warm python. A very warm, very tacky python. I fear that any snake with this particular colouration would very quickly fall prey to survival of the fittest.

loves

2008-08-10T11:59:00.003-05:00

The Mario Scarf. An exceedingly ambitious knitter is knitting the entire first level of Super Mario Brothers. I think this is the geekiest, most awesome thing I've ever seen. To hell with (wonderful, amazing) Tom Baker scarves; this is the new face of nerd knitting!

Gahh.

2008-08-09T18:21:00.002-05:00

I'm editing a scene to accommodate an excised subplot. It's intensely personal to the point of making me (and the main character) uncomfortable, and I'm trying to work out how to fully integrate it into the rest of the story. I suppose my wine and knitting session tonight should help somewhat.

And on that note, I need to brush my teeth and find some socks.

Eureka!

2008-08-08T14:14:00.002-05:00

I think I've just figured out how to remove the majority of my remaining 42,000 words. I should know by now that when I stop working--come to a dead halt and start knitting and playing Bejeweled instead--that my brain is on percolate. Within fifteen minutes of pulling up my Word window, I had figured out how to remove a huge chunk of unnecessary information. There's one more major section to whittle down, but it shouldn't be too difficult. I'd like to work on the denoument a bit more, too, but that'll fall into place.

Ohh, I hope this is as effective as I think it'll be. One other subplot needs to be removed and a couple of scenes moved around to accommodate it, and then I just have to choose between two characters to see which one--well. That's a spoiler, that is.

Seriously, I feel like I'm playing with Lego. "Yeah, it looks cool on the box, but if I do this...."

2008-08-07T22:41:00.004-05:00

Yes, it worked! Not that it's actually working. Stupid technology. Stupid heatwave.

Just had a mental discussion with myself regarding one of my characters. "Hmm. He's an alcoholic. What about other drugs? Marijuana was available then--Wait, what am I saying? This guy's not laid-back enough to know what toking is. Thousand pound a day coke habit, though? Totally."

Ladies and gentlemen, the inside of my head after I've been watching reruns of House.

Testing.

2008-08-07T22:41:00.001-05:00

Will my useless connection work this time?

2008-08-05T12:23:00.000-05:00

2008-08-05T10:52:00.000-05:00

Hell.

2008-08-05T10:28:00.001-05:00

1. At three in the morning, I had an epiphany as to how I could remove a good 20K words from LLTD. I remember how, and it includes moving a scene later in the book AND removing two unnecessary subplots that were, in previous incarnations, very necessary. However, I want to give Colleen a chance to give some input, because I could be completely and utterly wrong.

2. My DSL has been flaky for two weeks. This is seriously pissing me off. Note to self: get Windstream's number in one of my connection's lucid moments, call to complain. I know it's the heat, but some piece of their equipment is damaged--probably by the insane heat we're having--and it needs to be repaired.

Oy, vey.

2008-08-05T00:02:00.008-05:00

The Import got back from Annapolis on Friday, and we've basically goofed off ever since. I really don't have that much of a goofing off tolerance these days, and I've napped as much as anything. That said, we've done anniversary stuff--it's tomorrow, but he has to work--and eaten out way too much. He has Guitar Hero and a Nintendo DS case he actually likes (and some more things on the way), and I have a lovely Lush box set and something else coming. Oh, and the A/C in his car died ten minutes into today's trip across town and back, and he said, "No, we'll be fine," when I asked about going back for my one.

Today's high was in the range of 106°. That's a little over 40&deg: Celsius. This is considered normal where I'm from. I dream of the day when I can retire to either England or Minnesota.

Finally saw The Dark Knight today. OMFZ. Talk about a kick in the teeth, laid bare and put on a movie screen. Yes, Heath Ledger was amazing; his Joker was the embodiment of Death. The whole thing, though, was great. There was a moment about two-thirds of the way through when I went, "That's the whole thing?" But no, no, it wasn't, and, yeah. Fantastic. I know there's a thesis or fifty there. My personal favourite would be titled something like: "Batman and the Joker: The Psychological Interplay of Humanity's Drive for Meaning in the Face of Death." If anyone more educated than I would care to write it, please feel free.

Going to edit for a bit longer, then get some sleep. After a day of driving around in the heat, I need it. Note to self: get up early enough to take his car to the shop.

I want to go back to school.

2008-08-01T20:47:00.001-05:00

Dr. John Huehnergard of the Harvard Semitic Studies Department is officially the coolest professor in North America.

That is all.

Useless? You decide.

2008-08-01T02:13:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've accomplished absolutely nothing today. I know that's not the case, even if I still have to clean litter boxes and haul trash out tonight. So far, I've finished editing a short and gotten it ready for submission, done grocery shopping, bought a bunch of girly stuff (lip balm is my cosmetics boyfriend), worked on pronoun issues for two or three more chapters, and knitted the toe of a lace-and-cable sock. I know that a toe doesn't sound that impressive, but I'm using tiny yarn (about a third the size of that Red Heart stuff you get at Voldemart) and US 1.5 needles (about the same size as the yarn). My joints are KILLING me, but it'll be so worth it in the end. Mmm, socks.

All right, what haven't I done? Apart from the litter boxes. There's laundry, exercise, cleaning, lunch, dinner....

Ah.

This is why I shouldn't be left on my own for long periods of time. Food becomes my bottom priority. Wonder if I've got time for a sammich?

ARGH!

2008-07-30T22:33:00.002-05:00

I give up. When someone's gender (and species) is "angel," you can't call ilim sir or ma'am. (Yes, I'm practising. Shut up.) So what title do you use?

I'm being lazy and clinging to my copy of Lawrence of Arabia. Efendi it is.

(For the record, my three favourite movies ever are Lawrence of Arabia, Edward Scissorhands, and The Changeling. If you haven't seen them, I heartily recommend all three. Widescreen, HD. Especially for Lawrence.)

S'too early for this.

2008-07-30T12:03:00.004-05:00

The pronouns have been revised AGAIN. Hopefully for the final time. The most difficult part is finding something that sounds and reads like a pronoun, while giving subtle visual hints as to which one it conjugates as. I finally have:

il (he, she, it)
ilim (him, her, it)
iliš (his, her/hers, its)
ilištum (himself/herself/itself)

As said before, š is pronounced sh. I'd write sh, but it doesn't correspond to anything in English. Even older forms, to the best of my knowledge, only used th (ð or þ) as a third person suffix, and, yes, they're pronounced differently. (Why, no, I really don't have anything better to do with my time than study dead languages for no constructive purpose. Why do you ask?)

All right, back to context conversion. I think this might work. It still hurts to do, but, hey. Might as well see how it goes.

Ohh, my poor lawn guy.

2008-07-30T11:17:00.002-05:00

Last night, I passed out with the light on, my glasses crooked, and a romance novel on my chest (shut up, I'm experimenting). I was also wearing my latest attempt at liquid eyeliner.

This morning, my lawn guy stops by to get his check from Saturday, as he mowed while I was out. I haven't actually brushed my hair yet, so I answered in my "my cats walk all over me" nightshirt, hair everywhere, and my eyeliner smudged like Siouxsie Sioux. He just grinned, fortunately. I dread to imagine what went through his head.

It was just a romance novel! Honest! Blame the author! She's the one who had an entire room rocking with laughter at Conestoga.

Third-gender, third-person pronouns revisited

2008-07-29T21:11:00.006-05:00

I have tentatively given into agent (and editorial) suggestion. After much experimentation, I have finally settled upon il - ilu - ilish - ilishtum, which conjugates in the same way as he - him - his -himself. You have no idea how much my teeth are grinding, but if it helps sell the book, so be it. Right now, I'm gripping my head, hoping with all my might that I don't lose half my readership in the first chapter.

Thank you, John Huehnergard. Without your in-depth and easily understood knowledge of a murderously complex dead language (which I happened to usurp for my nefarious purposes), I'd be hanging by my fingertips right now. As it stands, I've got at least one finger wedged into a fissure at the edge of the proverbial cliff.

Tonight definitely calls for a drink.

ETA: make that iliš. It's pronounced the same way as ilish, but is far less visually distracting IMO. Ah, special characters. How did I know it would eventually come to this?

I still want my beer.

ETA2: Aaaad now ilu is ilum. Will the madness never end???

Wow.

2008-07-29T14:03:00.004-05:00

On second look, this isn't the screwball comedy I'd intended. In fact, it's quite possibly the blackest comedy I've ever written. Still gonna submit it. It'll be a tough sale, but, hey, it's done. No sense in stuffing it straight into the trunk.

So. Yeah.

How the hell do I keep my mind off the Novel From Hell now?

Amazing what you can do with a little determination.

2008-07-29T01:37:00.000-05:00

The rough draft of the comedy that's been languishing on my hard drive for months now is finally complete. It gets a little serious at the end, but that's okay. It suits the story. And it's still funny overall.

I'll give it a second read in the morning, after I take the trash out. For now, I'm goin' to bed.

Made of Daft

2008-07-28T11:24:00.003-05:00

Dear self,

You have three weeks to rest your brain and work on some blunt comedy. You know perfectly well you've been comedy starved. So why is it that you insist on going, "Oooooooh, that'll help the plot!" regarding the Hellogy every thirty seconds? You've already written half a page of new dialogue AND advanced the Nefarious Plot (as well as the story's plot) a dozen times.

See that short story you've got up? Work on it. Also? Eat something, then get a shower so you can run to the library for ten minutes. You also need to fill in your bookstore application, because that would be the best job EVAR and you know you're good enough to get it.

Now put away the novel, and work on something else. All right? Good little addict.

More annoyance than love,

Me

Unexpected Gifts

2008-07-27T23:34:00.005-05:00

Today, Colleen (my lovely agent) asked me to send her my current edit on what is quickly becoming the Novel From Hell. She said it'll take her a few weeks to really go through it as thoroughly as it needs to be seen.

This afternoon, K. D. Wentworth gave me my annual, "You've come so close so many times, I always think, 'this quarter she's going to win', and you really need to keep entering," Writers of the Future lecture.

Despite the religious nature of a lot of my writing, I'm an atheist. I believe strongly in coincidence.

This one is too good to ignore.

Zzz....

2008-07-27T17:14:00.002-05:00

Conestoga is over for another year. Much fun was had, no alcohol was drunk (ACK), and I got a lot of awesome information. I'm torn between working on a short story and taking a nap. Somehow, I suspect the nap will win; an hour of belly dancing is wonderfully fun and great for the joints, but I'm knackered. Also? Beading class was a blast. Must get some beading needles and make some bookmarks.

... time passes, Import calls....

Well, I'm completely tired now. Definitely going for that nap. Next year, Conestoga will be in April, so I shouldn't be quite so dead at the end. Some of us just aren't designed for 107° weather. That's Fahrenheit, not Celsius, thank Elvis.

Day Two

2008-07-26T19:44:00.004-05:00

Awesome panels. Con crud. Came home before I could barf and/or snot on someone's masquerade costume (which would be a tragedy, as we always get some awesome ones). Have taken some vitamin C, and will soon have a bath so I can enjoy tomorrow. I'm looking forward to several of tomorrow's panels. I've spent the last two days in the Fangs, Fur, and Fey room, so tomorrow I'm going to be a naughty writer and go to both the belly dance class AND the beadwork panel. Huzzah!

One of the best things about congoing is that it shows me that I'm not the only person going through the writing problems I have. It's normal to think that the book sucks two thirds of the way through, I'm not the first person to have to do overwhelming revisions, and plenty of other people refuse to show their sex scenes to their parents. The "Business of Writing" panel this afternoon was top notch, and pleasantly followed by the Sex Scenes panel. You can imagine the hilarity that ensued. Oh, and P. C. Cast's dad is made of humiliating awesome.

About ready to go the lazy vegetarian/bad vegan route and just boil some eggs for dinner. Mmm, forbidden eggs. I'm seriously a hair's breadth from saying "screw it" to veganism and just switch to mostly veganism. I've been eating cheese all weekend, anyway, via consuite nachos (delicious, but probably why I've got con crud).

Damn it. Now I want more nachos.

Oof.

2008-07-25T23:37:00.002-05:00

One day of Conestoga down, two to go. Today was pretty awesome, and included a fabulous belly dance show--performed by fairies. You had to be there, but it involved tequila. Damn, I love my local con.

I missed the Fangs, Fur, and Fey bar night, alas. I'm tired, and given how much I have to parcel out my energy these days, I felt it was more prudent to come home and rest. That said, I would have loved a few Sam Adams and a good chat. Must take my copy of Marie Brennan's Midnight Never Come tomorrow so I can get her to sign it. Also, my JBU Best-Of, so I can get one of my fellow best-of authors to sign it for me. *grin*

All right. I'm up in seven hours, and Sunday is going to be even harsher. I'm off to bed. Ohh, I'm going to regret wearing red velvet and heels tomorrow. I just know it.

Less Serious Than Advertised

There is a tiny cat giving me a glare of death.

Blog Day

Actual Writing Content!

Helpful Holiday Hints

Quick thought on American society

Frustration is a frustrating mistress.

Quick Post

Still alive.

This is the greatest thing ever seen upon the Internets.

Gorramit.

Out with the old, in with the headache.

Amazon clusterfuck

That time of year again.

Writing Romance

"Well, fuck" has now become "WTF?"

RAR!

Well, fuck.

Brief Update

Well, I'm cursed.

While waiting for AAA....

Writer's block, or, The downside of winter (and lupus)

Kickass.

Because someone asked today.

KHAAAAAAAN!!!

New blog ahoy!

Strange New Experiences

New Year's reading rant

FINALLY.

Rrrr! Brains!

Rrrr.

Fannish encroachment

Less crap.

Well, crap.

Retail Hell

Ahh.

Website Stuff and Things

Ohhhhh. =)

Actual Word Count

Open Letters to the Most Important Person In My Life

Looking up.

You alllll hate me.

It's the Great Omen, Charlie Brown!

Dose #2

Urgh.

Kitty!

Still Alive

First Day of Work

DO WANT

Re-Entering the Workforce 101

Potential Booty?

One more thing.

A heart attack I did NOT need

I'm calling you "Stinky"

The Joy of Sleep

Um, wow.

No more knitting, no more writing....

*twitch*

Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!

Public Service Announcement

*falls over*

Bollocks.

DNC

Hell.

Different Editing

IF YOU ONLY READ ONE OF MY POSTS, READ THIS ONE.

Nngh.

Blaaagh.

Editing

The S-Word

&#$%@!

BLARRRGH.

Crap.

Argh.

Jewish Graphic Novels

Portrait of the Author

Ding, dong, the heat wave's dead...!

*loves*

Gahh.

Eureka!

twitch

falls over

loves