Portrait of the Author

It's a well-known fact that I hate having my picture taken. I even tried to wheedle out of wedding photos at my own wedding. Hence, I have no author photo even remotely available.

I have turned to the South Park Studio for a chillingly accurate pictorial depiction of myself. Please note that, in Real Life, there is no possible way I could fit behind a single book, save maybe those gargantuan medieval tomes you see in museums. In any case, I now present to you the South Park version of moi.



There. Wasn't that exciting? I'm sure your lives are enriched beyond comprehension. (And, yes, this really does look eerily like me. It's possible to recognise me based on this picture.)

Ding, dong, the heat wave's dead...!

Our highs are currently in the 80s (Fahrenheit), with lows in the mid to upper 60s. This makes me happy; I can start taking my bike out at night again. In a few months, "night" will mean anytime after about 6:00. I'm not up to my 2-3 mile regular course yet, but I did over a mile tonight, with some fairly significant uphill climbs, and I didn't dismount once. Rather than pushing for speed, I pushed for stamina. Going slower helped a LOT.

That said, some lower humidity would help, too. I feel like I've been for a swim. *holds shirt away from chest* Yech.

Still plugging along with edits. Have also finished the novelty yarn scarf I started on Saturday, when I'd Harvey Wallbanged myself beyond taste. It actually looks really cool. It's also about eight feet long. Since it's stockinette stitch, it curls into a tube. Wearing it is like wearing a very warm python. A very warm, very tacky python. I fear that any snake with this particular colouration would very quickly fall prey to survival of the fittest.

*loves*

The Mario Scarf. An exceedingly ambitious knitter is knitting the entire first level of Super Mario Brothers. I think this is the geekiest, most awesome thing I've ever seen. To hell with (wonderful, amazing) Tom Baker scarves; this is the new face of nerd knitting!

Gahh.

I'm editing a scene to accommodate an excised subplot. It's intensely personal to the point of making me (and the main character) uncomfortable, and I'm trying to work out how to fully integrate it into the rest of the story. I suppose my wine and knitting session tonight should help somewhat.

And on that note, I need to brush my teeth and find some socks.

Eureka!

I think I've just figured out how to remove the majority of my remaining 42,000 words. I should know by now that when I stop working--come to a dead halt and start knitting and playing Bejeweled instead--that my brain is on percolate. Within fifteen minutes of pulling up my Word window, I had figured out how to remove a huge chunk of unnecessary information. There's one more major section to whittle down, but it shouldn't be too difficult. I'd like to work on the denoument a bit more, too, but that'll fall into place.

Ohh, I hope this is as effective as I think it'll be. One other subplot needs to be removed and a couple of scenes moved around to accommodate it, and then I just have to choose between two characters to see which one--well. That's a spoiler, that is.

Seriously, I feel like I'm playing with Lego. "Yeah, it looks cool on the box, but if I do this...."

Yes, it worked! Not that it's actually working. Stupid technology. Stupid heatwave.

Just had a mental discussion with myself regarding one of my characters. "Hmm. He's an alcoholic. What about other drugs? Marijuana was available then--Wait, what am I saying? This guy's not laid-back enough to know what toking is. Thousand pound a day coke habit, though? Totally."

Ladies and gentlemen, the inside of my head after I've been watching reruns of House.

Testing.

Will my useless connection work this time?

Hell.

1. At three in the morning, I had an epiphany as to how I could remove a good 20K words from LLTD. I remember how, and it includes moving a scene later in the book AND removing two unnecessary subplots that were, in previous incarnations, very necessary. However, I want to give Colleen a chance to give some input, because I could be completely and utterly wrong.

2. My DSL has been flaky for two weeks. This is seriously pissing me off. Note to self: get Windstream's number in one of my connection's lucid moments, call to complain. I know it's the heat, but some piece of their equipment is damaged--probably by the insane heat we're having--and it needs to be repaired.