IF YOU ONLY READ ONE OF MY POSTS, READ THIS ONE.

Colleen, my extraordinary (and persuasive) agent, has made another post on word counts. She's getting more and more queries with high word counts again, and, well, that's REALLY, REALLY BAD. I posted this in the comments field, but I'm putting it here, too, because you NEED TO KEEP THIS IN MIND. (The all caps are there for a reason, folks. Pay attention.)

People, KEEP your LENGTH DOWN. I'm condensing THREE HUNDRED FREAKING THOUSAND words into 120K. That's FORTY PERCENT of the original length. Sixty percent GONE. DO NOT PULL THIS SORT OF STUNT. If your book is even good enough to consider at that length, it will be chopped to pieces just to make it marketable. You will learn a great deal from that sort of edit, including the meaning of pain.

Seriously, take it from someone who's learned all of this the hard way. KEEP YOUR BOOKS SHORT. (This goes for books shorter than 300K, too, btw. Anything over 120K for an adult novel is begging for surgery, and anything over about 90K for an upper-grade YA gets the same treatment.)

Nngh.

Last night, I had a horrible nightmare that I went to I Can Has Cheezburger and all of its sister sites and posted, "FIRST!!!" on every new picture. Now I feel filthy.

I can has breakfast? Good breakfast? I think today might finally warrant that IHOP trip.

Blaaagh.

I'll get to comments when I can, guys, sorry. I went office-type clothes shopping last night (my Clearance Fu is incredible), and realised this morning that I spent about five hours under bare fluorescent bulbs. This wouldn't be a problem, but now I have a butterfly rash, and I think my kidneys are bleeding. Ow. Much ow.

On the plus side, I've been ordered to put down the editing. This is from someone with actual authority, btw (as opposed to the Import). Hence, I'm gonna go and try to finish my Mom's SAGGD present.

Editing

*breaks down in incoherent sobs*curls up on the floor*becomes a cat bed*

The S-Word

I've got a particular, um, steamy scene that I'd like to retain as fully as possible. However, nothing that actually happens in the midst of the scene is, well, critical to the plot, apart from the fact that it does happen. Do I keep it, or do I edit it to bare bones? As it stands, it's good. It's probably one of the more evocative love scenes I've ever written. However, there are more important things to deal with, such as, oh, I dunno, THE PLOT.

What do I do? Anyone? Bueller? Should I retain it for now? It's going to hurt if I have to remove this one.

Must run. Have an appointment across town in half an hour. Thank Elvis for highways.

&#$%@!

I'm at the point where I'm convinced the book sucks, the edits suck, and the whole dang project should be scrapped. While I understand that this is a normal part of the process, it doesn't make things any easier. Also?

Dear Particular Character,

I love you. I love you dearly. However, please stop licking blood from your hands. I understand that blood gets you off like nothing else, but it's making me crave IHOP. No, really. IHOP pancakes with artificially flavoured strawberry syrup. Have you any idea how incredibly disturbing that is?

Now go back into your Special Character Cage and please--oh, Elvis, please--stop making me think of Sonic strawberry slushies. You know, the ones that taste like paradise but look like an especially bad and snowy accident.

Far, far too much love,

Me

Rrr. Before I decide to make an IHOP run, I'm goin' to bed.

BLARRRGH.

Allergy attack. Twenty-four hour long headache, complete with asthma attack. Thought I was having a migraine. Friggin' exhausted. Editing done today: NIL.

I think everything's settled down now. Keeping fingers crossed. About the only thing I've come anywhere near succeeding in today is a possible decision about my holiday knitting.

I'm committed to two projects, one for my mom and one for my family. I'd like to knit scarves for all my nephews and nieces, save maybe the eldest, who's considered a grown-up now. (This isn't the one who might be deployed, btw; at 22, he's still just a baby IMO.) However, we're going to come down to a matter of time and sanity. Which means I have three options:

1. Knit my nieces and nephews scarves, for a total of either six or seven. There needs to be a toy for the great-niece as well.
2. Knit myself a sweater and just shop for the kids.
3. Knit them all scarves, then knit myself a birthday sweater in January. If I do this, I'll have to work a 32-row or 32-stitch repeat into the pattern. If I could work in 2^5 instead, that would be AWESOME.

I'm leaning toward Option 3. Time, apparently, is not a factor. Nor is sanity. Sigh. Oh, well. Scarves can be easy, at least. When I don't get fancy-pants ideas in my head.

Tomorrow: housework, editing, trip to the store. Knitting in the evening. How is it that someone so wholly unemployed and non-parental can feel so overwhelmed with all there is to do?

Crap.

My insomnia's back, my dad needs cataract surgery, and my nephew's reserve unit may be deployed to Afghanistan before the end of the year.

Screw today. I'm goin' back to bed.

Argh.

It's time for me to buckle down on my Secular Atheist Gift-Giving Day (aka Christmas) presents. Yes, I know, it's August, as the Import frequently reminds me. However, I need to finish the rather elaborate gift for my mother, an even more elaborate gift for the family gift exchange, and at least one more scarf. In the midst of all that will be random projects intended for me, because I'm a selfish knitter, including a red-and-brown metallic shawl or stole, depending on the amount of yarn I've actually got. I suppose I could always get hold of a third colour if necessary--gold would be nice.

Keep in mind, I knit in order to relax. I love writing, but it gets so overwhelming that sometimes I just need a completely (or almost completely) unrelated creative venture to let me vent. One reason it works so well is because it's not purely creative. It's basically engineering. Hence, I get to use my math skills, my problem solving skills, and my design and construction skills, not to mention that I get to let my Inner Rainman run wild. Anyway, it takes forever to finish a novel, and even longer to sell one. Knitting is far more immediate. Hell, on Sunday morning I started an eight-foot-long scarf, and by Monday evening, it was finished. Don't look so impressed; I double stranded two fairly bulky novelty yarns and used size 11 needles. The whole thing was only 12 stitches wide.

I think I'm going to edit for a little while longer, then go and, I dunno, work on a sock. Or Mom's present, since I really do need to finish it so I can block the thing. She's had a rough year, including major spinal surgery, and she could use something nice and handmade. She's one of the few people I know who really, genuinely understands the work that goes into a handmade item, and who will appreciate it and treat it with care. That said, if she just folds it up and only takes it out for special occasions, I'm pulling it out of its box and making her wear it. ;) Knitting is to be used, not hidden. So sayeth the person whose favourite (cheap yarn) shawl is currently wadded on the floor, where one of the cats dragged it off to make a bed.

Jewish Graphic Novels

Today, I finally got to visit the Sherwin Miller Museum of Jewish Art, for the Jewish Graphic Novel exhibit. It closes Sunday (and the museum is never open on Saturdays--Shabbat, don'chaknow), and I'm seriously considering going back that day to see it again. The exhibit covers the history of comic books and graphic novels from a Jewish perspective, and focuses specifically on several novels by Jewish authors and artists that pertain directly to Jewish history, culture, and religion. Will Eisner's work was featured heavily, of course, and I was unspeakably happy to see a whole panel on Magneto. The writer who really developed his character was Jewish, and it was his idea to make him a tragic hero as much as a supervillain. (Magneto is one of my favourite fictional characters simply because he is so complex.)

My happiest discoveries were three comic artists whose work I was previously unfamiliar with: Joann Sfar (The Rabbi's Cat), Steve Sheinkin (the Rabbi Harvey books), and J. T. Waldman (Megillat Esther). They have radically different styles of both art and storytelling, and their work ranges from enchanting (Sfar) to hilarious (Sheinkin) to breathtaking (Waldman). Megillat Esther in particular is intriguing because it retells the Book of Esther (ha'Megillat Esther) in graphic novel format. The artwork is beautiful, and Waldman did a wonderful job of not only bringing the characters to life, but of combining ancient Babylonian symbolism with Hebrew calligraphy.

If anyone in the Tulsa area is free Thursday, Friday, or Sunday, the exhibit is well worth the price of admission. The museum has two permanent exhibits as well. The Holocaust exhibit is subtle and chilling; it's jarring to realise that the enamelled tin cup on the other side of the glass belonged to someone in one of the camps, and several examples of American anti-Semitism are displayed at the beginning of the exhibit, demonstrating why the Nazis were able to get away with so much for so long. Upstairs, they have their general exhibit on Jewish history, which includes a lot of beautiful artwork, several very delicate Torah scrolls (with eeny, weeny writing, agh, my eyes), and some incredible examples of embroidered and quilted religious items, like challah cloths and a beautiful bar mitzvah outfit that had belonged to a boy in Poland.

Definitely worth the admission. If anyone is interested in travelling to Tulsa to see the museum, they'll have a new exhibit opening September 21: In A Different Light: The Book of Genesis in the Art of Samuel Bak. I'm considering getting a membership so I can wander to the museum with a sketchbook every once in a while.