Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Writer's block, or, The downside of winter (and lupus)

I'm writing this mostly because I need to write something today. I'm dealing with... well, it's closer to writer's exhaustion than writer's block. I've got plenty of ideas, including some damned good ones, but I'm unable to sit down and execute them right now. It's due to a combination of factors, including day job overwork, either lupus or FMS flaring (signs point toward both or the latter), and seasonal depression. The seasonal depression is compounded by the knowledge that it's probably going to be a permanent thing; sunlight does bad, bad things to me, and I really need to avoid all common types of light more than I currently do. Vampires are only cool and creepy night dwellers until you learn first-hand what it really means to live in the dark. (Yes, this means I'll probably write a vampire novel one of these days. Don't worry; I do anger better than angst.)

I'm actually not feeling sorry for myself, believe it or not. I'm just frustrated and angry and in dire need of some overtly creative activity. As I've said, writing is out because I'm too tired to concentrate, and I really pour my energy into it. Sewing is out because I don't have all the tools I need. I'll probably sit down with some knitting in a few minutes. Or, because I think I can do it, I might write a brief synopsis for a holiday comedy I want to write. That, at least, would be something.

Right. Going to write that synopsis, and then I'm going to eat something other than a banana. It may be another banana, but it'll be food. I have to remind myself sometimes that writing is just one work after another. If I can write one word, I can write another. That helps a lot.


  1. I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm finally, after months and months of being creatively paralyzed, getting back on my feet. Pristiq and Vyvanse threaten to make me think there might be a god. Now I have so many writing, sewing, and jewelry projects fighting to get out of my brain that get confused.

    I really hope you get a handle on your health soon. I miss hearing from you.

    Um, what sewing tools do you need? I have extras of a few things.

  2. I think that dropping back to three days a week will help as much as anything. It'd also help if I could stop getting sick; every time I do, I have to go off medication, and then I'm back on square one.

    Thank you. :) I think I'm going to get all the tools I really need for my birthday, though. Mom and Dad are getting me a cutting mat and rotary cutter, and I'm getting myself a 6"x24" ruler and maybe a 1" bias tape maker. Employee discounts are wonderful things.

    I'm planning to make the room reservation for Conestoga around the first of February. Do you have any preferences? Mine are non-smoking, and not on the party floor. Quiet is a good thing.

  3. Gah. Sorry you're feeling bad, Susan. Do you draw? I do that sometimes when all else seems to fail... Hope things get better very soon!! :-)

  4. Kelly: Believe it or not, I trained as a visual artist for about 20 years. :) Blame college burnout (and RSI) for my rustiness. If I can't get to sewing and quilting by this weekend, I may have to crack out a character portrait again and try to make some headway. All I've got left is wings and hair. Alas, I've never had much patience for either.